How we’ve changed
Andrew and I recently had a conversation about how we have changed since moving to California. A lot has happened in the past 3 years while we have been here: Andrew starting work as a real estate agent, living through the Covid-19 pandemic, moving to a new community in South El Monte, creating relationships with our neighbors, developing new hobbies and skills, recieving callings in leadership positions at church, raising our kids and adding another child to the mix. Through it all, we have felt our perspectives change about a lot of things. I can honestly say that I am not the person who first moved here to California. I am a better version of myself, and I am proud of the things I have learned along the way.
In November of 2019, as we considered leaving our home in Utah and moving to another state, I wrote the following:
The other day, as I cried in the shower about this big decision, the Spirit spoke to me and prompted my thoughts, "It's your choice. You can choose to move to California, or you can choose to stay in Utah. You can find happiness either way. HOWEVER, if you don't go to California, you will be missing out on some very special miracles that are waiting there for you."
That's how heaven works, through agency. God isn't going to force us to do anything, but there are great blessings for following the promptings of the Spirit and humbly saying, "I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord."
Wow, who would have guessed that that moment in the shower would be an experience I would reflect back on regularly as we have grown where we replanted? And, honestly, we really ahve seen many miracles.
So I want to reflect and record some of the changes and miracles that have shaped our family in the past few years.
Andrew is soooo much happier in his job as a real estate agent than he was working in finance at Fidelity. Now, don’t get me wrong, Fidelity is not a bad complany. But for Andrew and his experience there, it was not provideing the opportunities for him to grow. That job did not fit his vibrant, people-personalty, and it left him feeling undervalued, micromanaged, and upset almost every day. His black cloud at work woud follow him home and would often sour the rest of the evening. He clearly needed a change. As he earned his real estate license and started working in selling new-build home, he blossomed. He love the connections he makes as he helps people find their perfect home. He has made so many friends and contacts thorugh his work, from other agents and loan officers to clients and builders. New opportunities emerfed to develop marketable skills which had previously only been hobbies: photography and videography, drone work, and online marketing. As his wife, I have loved seeing how Andrew has pushed himself, learned new skills, and grown in joy in this new career path.
We ahave had many disucssions about church culture (in Utah specifically) and how different church feels for us now. Our ward in California feels like a ward family, and that is something we never experienced in Utah. Sure, people were still kind, and we did make a few friends, but the ward unit never felt truly unified. And really, its more than just church. Our view on religion in general has morphed. As Andrew put it, “I have a different relationship with Jesus now.” These past few years have had me asking more questions and pondering over difficult situations in regard to religion and my beliefs. I have really struggled and cried out in moments, but that struggle has made me stronger in my testimony of Jesus. I feel more personally connected to heaven as I have searched for my own answers through personal prayer and study.
This may be controversial, but Covid-19 opened our eyes to a lot of things, namely government overregulation, bias in the healthcare system, and the lack of answers for the layman. I learned to be more aware of the bias and to become educated myself so that I could make sound choices for myself and my family. It has been tough, but it has also been empowering. In my pregnancy, I was able to lean on my right to informed consent, and I advocated for myself in ways I had no idea previously that I could do. I didn’t allow doctors to bully me (although many tried and brought be to tears), and I didnt allow the government to coerce me into an action I felt was wrong for my life and my situation. Through in all, I became a stronger version of myelt. I am more educated. I am more willing to listen to my gut and do my research instead of blindly following what an expert might suggest. And I think that’s a good thing.
My view on childhood education has changed a ton too! As a teacher, I really had only thought about education in the traditional, school setting. But now, ideas of homeschool and co-ops, learning through play, and rejecting the idea of set standards having to be met at arbitrarily set times have grown. I’ve realized that kids naturally love to learn, and I can foster much of that at home. From Grace being drawn to writing her letters and sounding out words to Madelyn finding interest in water play as she washes dishes (which she asks to to regularly), education looks different in my mind now.
All this is to say that it is fascinating to see how our ideals, hopes, and beliefs can change throughout our lives. Through it all, I strive to develop myself into a better, friendlier, more educated, more empathetic, and all-around good person. I hope I’m succeeding.
