Motherhood in the trenches
Life is not glamorous right now. (As I wrote that sentence, I sneezed into my sleeve and was left with the remnants of my lunch along with a large quantity of spit)
We are all taking turns getting sick, and it seems my turn has arrived. I was so pleased that my family was able to avoid whatever bug was being passed around at Christmas time. But right around New Years, we slowly started succumbing to the coughs, congestions, and fatigue. It started with Grace, then passed to Maddy. From there it attacked Harper and has finally targeted me (Andrew has remained unscathed so far, lucky dog).
Today has been the worst. While Grace seems to be better, everyone else is still feeling miserable. Harper is particularly volatile, unable to be distracted by a movie or a fun game. She is most content when making a mess, whether that means throwing playing cards onto the floor, chucking the food from her plate, removing every single plate and cup from the kid’s kitchen cupboard, or meticulously pulling every tissue from the box that I just opened to help mediate the ever-present waterfall of snot spewing from her sweet, little nose. Honestly, at this point, I am content letting her make the mess if it gives me a few precious moments to rest from carrying her or trying to come up with something to feed her.
But in between the clutter and the coughs, there have been some beautiful moments. This morning as I lay in bed moaning about not feeling well, Grace came over and rubbed my head and offered to get me water. Then, after a little spat with Maddy, she and I sat in her bed and I ran my fingers through her hair. She gave a big sigh and said, “I love you Mommy, even when you’re mad at me.” And when it was finally time for Harper to take a nap, she nuzzled into my chest and fell asleep almost immediately. Andrew says that I am her safe space, and I really felt the validity of that observation in that moment. Later, Harper sat in Grace’s lap so that her big sister could read to her some of her favorite books. And then we spent a good 40 minutes out in the sunshine on our patio. Hopefully the Vitamin D helps us all feel better.
Motherhood is tough, especially when I’m sick. But there are so many beautiful moments among the mundane daily tasks. Those are the things I hope to hold onto when the going gets tough.
